WHAT is the deal, already…
On new years eve, I left my favorite black sweater of all times (also the one I wear…sorry…wore almost daily) in the back of a cab whilst in a drunken haze.
Since then, I’d been looking for a replacement. After several hundred hours (and I don’t believe I’m exaggerating) of searching for its replacement, I finally bought one last Friday at a boutique in Prenzlberg that’s so cool it doesn’t even have a name…for what amounts to half of my rent.
It’s GORgeous, though. No joke. Worth every penny that I paid in cash because the afore-mentioned store is also too cool to take plastic.
I waited until today to wear the sweater, having used the last few days to contemplate the right peripheral garments with which to accompany my new baby’s debut.
So. Jeans. The nice ones. Cowboy boots. My big mama glasses that I hooked up by persuading my optician to retrofit a pair of Calvin Klein shades.
The overall ensemble, hot though it was, had a puzzling effect.
All day, I was like catnip for really obnoxious queens trying to scam me or sell me things. I mean, in my line of work and with the company I keep…well, it happens. But today was extreme. There was the press guy who bummed about half a pack of cigarettes from me. Then there was the guy at lush who literally would not leave me alone until I was covered in eight different creams and lotions, each one designed to inspire weight-loss through omnipresent nausea.
Then there was the guy at the coffee shop. He talked to me for about forty-five minutes while inadvertently showing me about as many pecs, washboard stomachs, winsome boys and huge cocks, via his lively screensaver.
At the end of it all, he gave me his card and told me that his branch of the Christian Democrats (Germany’s watery version of Republicans) was looking for some new blood.
Would I like to tag along? Here’s your number.
My stars. Sometimes fabulousness is just not worth the bother. I fully intend to look like shit tomorrow.
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