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As I got off the tram coming home from work tonight, I noticed a bright, well-designed restaurant right in front of the stop that hadn’t been there the day before.
It’s a hot dog joint…one of several that have sprung up around my painfully cool neighborhood. The one on the corner of Eberswalderstr. and Schoenhauser Allee is always packed with a line out the door.
So. Hot dogs. Berlin’s latest obsession in the realm of nouveau cuisine.
I find this ridiculous on several levels. First, sausages…ranging from Bratwurst to Knaackwurst, are basically already Germany’s national food. You can buy some sort of sausage at nearly every food establishment in the city (save for asian restaurants….sometimes). Moreover, you can purchase salads, sandwiches, dumplings, and cold platters containing sausage (including Wienerwuerstchen–the common hot dog) literally everywhere.
The hot dog joints feature buns and an expanded assortment of condiments. Hooray.
Secondly, Germans are (pardon the term) retarded for whole foods, you know, no preservatives, no colors, lots of nubby ingredients that make you poop six times a day, etc.
What is less healthy than a hot dog? Eating an eraser?
Thirdly, Germans, especially Berliners, are very scornful of obvious symbols of Americana (despite last summer’s bizarre “everyone do cowboy” phase).
I refuse to believe Gray’s Papaya has influenced this trend at all. It’s not about real American urbanism. No, this is about urban kitschophilia, it’s about getting your Texas chilidog on in the middle of the pomo-”I work in media because that way I can wear velour jogging suits every day”-spitoon I happen to live in.
Picture this: there would be nothing more gauche that a typical midwestern couple enjoying a hot dog at a hot dog joint on Kastanienallee.
No…on Kastanienalle, you chase your hot dog with organic, free-trade espresso.
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