Shaving my balls
Not like we even remotely needed another language post, but here goes:
Last night I hung out with my beloved Toby. (He’s my 6′7″ gay linebacker siamese-twin). He basically got to play psychiatrist/drinks server while I stewed in wretched professional indecision.
He had developed a strange verbal tick, however…every so often he would percussively use the phrase “stop shaving my balls” (in English) for emphasis.
Now, the last set of balls I shaved (my then-main homo, when we were about age 18, in preparation for our first Oberlin drag ball) are probably attached to a happily married midwestern man by now. I don’t believe I’ve even so much as grazed Toby’s balls while jockeying for position on a full tram. You can understand my confusion.
After I while (and at least five repetitions), I had to ask what the deal was: “Toby, darling….I would never shave your…” etc.
It turns out that he was trying to employ the Cartman line: “Aw man, you’re busting my balls”, which he’d only seen in translation on German TV…where the line is somehow bizarrely converted into “Hoere auf, meine Eier zu rasieren” (Quit shaving my balls (literally, eggs)).
It was a classic moment. Too bad I had to break the magic by asking, eh? He’d have gone on for months.
April 5th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
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