Lydia’s Blog

Okay. I’m scared. I really am. I’ve been in the hospital since ten this morning (it’s about nine now). Until now I’ve been cool as a cucumber. That’s pretty much over.

I don’t want them to carve up my head. They’ve decided to fuck around with my sinuses to boot (fixing septum, polyps, other shit, don’t know), in addition to the skull and ear stuff.

It’s lonely here. My mom was around a lot today. Although it’s occasionally clouded by a haze of annoyance, I’m fucking glad, no…rescued by the fact that she’s here. Without that, I mean, just–well…

In about eleven hours, someone will show up in my room, give me a sedative, and wheel me out into a room full of microprobes, lasers and knives.

It’ll be fine.

It’ll be fine.

It’ll be fine.

I

will

be

fine.

A few minutes ago, I went out for a cigarette I probably wasn’t supposed to have. As I smoked, a little girl passed very close to me on a pink bicycle with training wheels.

Nice wheels, I said.

No reaction.

WHAT A GREAT BIKE, I said, louder.

That’s when I saw the wire winding out from under her helmet…ostensibly running back to a cochlear implant I couldn’t see. Or perhaps one that would be installed tomorrow, or Friday, or next week, or when she’s buttfucking twenty-seven years old…

We’ll all be fine, I suppose.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 10th, 2006 at 11:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.