Shittgart
Things I love about Stuttgart:
My apartment
Things I hate about Stuttgart:
Everything else*
*Except my job. That would go in the “it’s pretty good I guess…” pile.
I try to think of other shitty places I’ve lived. Oberlin, Ohio is an unmentionable sinkhole of a town…but then again in college, you can barely see past the coke-dusted end of your nose. Maybe I just didn’t notice. Pittsburgh was nobody’s idea of heaven…stil, it had some really fantastic bits. Brevard, NJ…tiny and crappy, but also quaint and charming. Tyson’s Corner, Virginia…ugly, sprawly and soulless yet somehow awe-inspiring in it’s total lack of humanity. Hmmm. Living in Graz is like living in an enormous cupcake, aesthetically and atmospherically. New York is New York and Berlin is Berlin, both amazing, and made only moreso by the people whom I adore who populate said cities. Now Stuttgart.
You know…I’ve gotten to thinking…maybe I’m not quite as hardcore as I thought I was. I remember saying to myself in college, “fuck stability and partnership…as long as I’m doing good work I’ll be happy”. And to be totally honest, I have always maintained that stance.
And here I sit, a heap of dear friends whom I’ve alienated and hurt, a family that can’t count on me to be around for weddings and births, an engagement that seems to have been dismantled bit by bit until there was nothing left, and to top it all off, I’m in Stuttgart. “As long as I’m doing good work” just gets emptier and emptier as a consolation.
I guess the ideal scenario is to be in a great place, surrounded by great people, doing great work. You know, at least in Berlin there was some constellation of the three but this…this!? It sort of makes me ill just thinking about it.
And rather than vomit on my brand newly spankity laptop, I guess I’d better just fuck off to bed.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:26 am
Oh… get outta there woman. u need to be surrounded by things u dig&luv … othawise forget it … if ur thinking longterm that is!!!